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no matter that i'd only been there for four days, i'd fallen completely head over heels in love with dublin. i had, to say the least, a strange feeling of leaving so soon to go to london. it wasn't dread by any means, but i had something strange brewing in me about the elevation show i was to see. we didn't arrive in london til about 10pm or 11pm the night before, and had incredible difficulty getting from stanstead to earl's court. ("i've been in a train and a room and a car and a room and a room and a room!") the train ride was alright - albeit long, the tube was a bit of a nightmare.. trying to figure out what goes where and then where exactly we were trying to go anyway, and then we walked (with heavy backpacks) for i don't even know how long in the wrong direction or something. i don't recall what time it was when we finally reached our hotel. we met up with nikki and kelly, and susan and pam actually set off for earl's court around 3am. i knew i was coming up on some wall and i didn't want to find out what was on the other side of it. (i actually did find out.. but after slane 2.) i sat on my bed and wrote a bit.. 3:45am, the entry says, and it shows how unsettled and on edge i felt. i didn't know at the time why i felt so emotional and shaky, but i know now. (after waking up extremely early and walking a couple miles to the venue, meeting up with everyone, frying in the sun......) we found out the next afternoon in line. bono's dad had died, just near 4am.
we all knew he was sick, and i kept telling people before i left california that this was going to happen sometime during the shows i was setting off for. i guess though, that i didn't realise exactly how it would be. how could i?

i had seen six shows already, but only three or so weeks into the tour. i knew there would be changes, they had since played to the rest of the states and mainland europe. but there was no way to be prepared. )

this photo quite eloquently sums up what there are no words for. a moment just after 'stay' that i unfortunately didn't even witness. (being so close to the front actually does have it's disadvantages.)

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February 2013

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